Journal

So here I am once again disappointed and preparing to test to confirm there's no baby here.  I've been through these times before and it usually stops my heart.  Last September I went into the doctor to discuss options and we ran blood tests on the 3rd day of my period.  Unfortunately, my period didn't come after my normal 45 day wait.  She induced the period and tests confirmed negative for the PCOS which I've been diagnosed with since my early 20's.  So last month we've monitored ovulation, as it seems that is the missing component.  On December 14th, it seemed to give a small line and we acted as though it were a positive.  I was hopeful, but after hearing Andy doubt, I realize the slim chances I have before me.  And then no period- still no period... It's so miserable.  My emotions are everywhere.  I'm ready to cry daily and don't see much relief until I get straightened out.  So three days ago I tested.  I was hoping maybe.  And nothing, as I had suspected, but did not want to find true.  So today I have to confirm.  It's not only my own compulsion, but the box suggested.  I am now 19 days from my suspected ovulation days.  And I'm going to go and I will likely end up empty handed.  But we'll try again, probably with some help.

And again, I'm negative... Argh