Dreams

My dreams have been getting weirder and weirder... Here is a cross section of some of the more memorable ones.

So, I am working with my middle sister at Walgreen's (she works there in another state from me and I've never worked there).  But the boss is mean and rude and I decide that I am walking out.  I'm then conflicted because I need the money.  Niki is worried that they will fire her if I quit.  Then I wake up.

I am at my dad's house, but he's obviously moved to the coast in a fat house.  There is a cliff that I repel down (never done it, always wanted to).  I get near the bottom and realize I didn't loop the ropes correctly like a pulley  and I will be stuck down here.  My rope is also a bit shorter than needed.  Eventually I make my way to the ground.  I find a shortcut to the haunted basement of my dad's house.  I find my little sister playing in her room and play for a bit before leaving.  As I leave, I remember stories about spirits/demons in the basement hitting people and giving them concussions. I hear a door slam and I begin to pray, out loud... yelling and then I begin to foam at the mouth as I keep praying... what in the world???  Then I wake up.

I am at Jimmy John's and they are making me a ham sandwich (my favorite) without the ham, since I'm pregnant and shouldn't eat lunch meat.  They added extra cheese and it was amazing.  Then I wake up.  Hungry.

We are at a cabin on vacation with Andy's sister and cousin.  Andy's cousin is cooking the most fabulous scrambled eggs ever imagined (she can cook and I wish she'd come over with these eggs!).  Then I wake up.  Hungry.

I'm in a room that I don't recognize and Niki comes in from work.  She walks in and looks normal, but then she is crawling around in the floor with a diaper on.  But when she's facing me she's all grown up.  She goes to the bathroom to change the diaper and gets poo on the seat.  Obviously it's my house now and I'm yell at her for being gross.  She wipes it off with toilet paper and tells me to get over it as she walks out the house.  Then I wake up.

I wake up (in my dream) and go to the bathroom, but it's in our "new" house (we are planning on selling our house eventually).  I see that the rooms are elderly inspired by decoration and I get a little spooked.  I call for Andy and he doesn't answer and he's vanished from bed.  I then realize that this is not my house, I'm not really awake, so I keep screaming for Andy in the hopes that I will wake him to wake me in real life.  Too much inception explains this one.  Then I wake up.

I'm hanging out with a girl (and apparently traveling with her family) when we drive through Tulsa, OK.  I know it's Tulsa by the big rest stop/tourist trap with the big letters spelling it out.  At some point her parents wonder off and she begins to tell this family that her parents killed someone.  The parents come back and kill that family (crazy right). So then I'm trying to figure out how to get to the police with the info to stop them.  They threaten her and she tells them that she wants 2 million dollars to keep quiet.  They threaten to kill again if need be.  She told them that she had told her secret to several people and if she gets killed they have the proof that they did it.  I then realize that it's my cousin and her parents, Phil and Rosemary that are the parents (who are so harmless).  Then I wake up.

I'm not the only one with weird dreams though.  Andy's had wild dreams, most of which he becomes the hero of the story.  He's usually shooting, kicking or practicing MMA on some villain.  Except for the night I was tossing and turning.  He reached over and grabbed my hand.  Then he asks in clear, articulated words, "Are you expecting your first child?"  I immediately asked him what he was dreaming about.  He came to and couldn't answer me. He now tries to deny that happened.

Week Ten

Time is passing quickly lately.  Sleepy all the time, but the nausea is letting go.  Only barfed once- knock on wood!  So it's nearing our time to go public.  It was making me nervous, but I feel pretty good that things are going well and I feel healthy.  And hot!!! I am always hot!!    Mood swings?  Check!  Hot flashes?  Check!  Gotta go to the bathroom every two hours?  Check!

Getting ready to fill the grandparents in on the excitement.  We wanted to be sure before telling them. And it feels good to be at a place where we are pretty secure.  This weekend I hope to get to them all, then we can finally tell work and facebook.  It's amazing how far God can take you in just a few months.  Proves that if you ask God for something, He can answer in a huge way, but always in His own timing.  I'm trying to learn patience from all this or I know that the struggle is all for not if I don't.  

Did I mention that I can't really focus?  My brain is pulled in so many different directions and I have little memory for the short term lol.  My clothes are also getting snug.  I was picking out a St. Patrick's Day shirt and realize that a XXL will not fit me in a month :-(  I can't get enough fruit right now either.  That's an improvement to the bread and potatoes I was stuffing myself with the past few weeks.  Here is a photo of my meal two nights ago.  It's not the greatest, but it's pretty good to a pregnant girl.

Doctor Visit - 8 weeks and 2 days

So moving past week 8 and into my new doctor's office.  The specialist has kicked me out.  We conceived naturally and I'm not high risk.  Yay for finally being normal (kinda).  From blob to snowman, the little one is shaping into the most beautiful baby in the world.  Healthy is the key word and we heard it.  It felt so good to know that things are going well.  Still praying, but much more hopeful at this point.

Photos 7 weeks and 5 days

So, yeah, I'm going to be as big as a house!

Doctor Visit - 6 weeks and 6 days

Finally today arrived.  I was so nervous going into this appointment.  I wanted desperately to hear things were going well, but I could not have been prepared for things to go this well.  The baby is developing and they measured the baby at 6 weeks and 6 days.  This is a little further than they suspected last time.  Due date is projected to be September 14th.  I would guess a few days earlier than that, but time will tell.  

Then in the doctor's routine, he turned on the monitors and we heard the most beautiful beating heart you could ever have hoped for.  Finally I stopped the doctor's chatter to listen.  I asked him if that was my baby's heart beat.  My baby was alive and healthy and the heart was flickering away and the monitors read a strong heart beat pulsing away.  Relief and thankfulness filled me.  Andy is still in awe when he talks about it.  It's truly amazing.  

After the exam, we were informed that since my body is working on it's own that we no longer need to be with a specialist.  The doctor fully anticipates a healthy pregnancy and we are taking a referral to a regular OB in a little more than a week.  

Food...

I've got a little more than 24 hours until my appointment tomorrow.  I'm so curious and at the same time, scared to death.  I feel good.  I'm exhausted, but I feel good.  My cravings are so weird right now.  I wanted the veggies and rice earlier (of course with a pot pie thrown in for good measure).  Now it's just down to potatoes, cupcakes from The Cup and black cherry ice cream from Crown Candy.  Mashed potatoes, biscuits, juice with grape in it and sour cream potato chips are the current favorites.  This was scaring me as it's the same pattern as before, but I just found out that I'm not alone.  Kinda funny if you ask me.  I'm trying to fill the time and to stay positive.  My belly is starting to poke out a bit.  I want to be excited, but right now I'm just telling this baby to grow up and be strong!  And beyond that I'm trying to keep it together.  And for now I'm headed to KFC for some mashed potatoes...

Fearful

Today is a rough day.  I just feel off.  I hate this. I want to be positive.  But, I'm just not feeling it.  I'm just petrified that on Tuesday we will again begin the cycle from last time.  I'm just not prepared for that.  In my heart I know that God has control and that He will complete His work that He has begun.  I just wish I knew what He was working on.  I'm just scared today.  As much as I've tried to not get ahead of myself, I've not braced for the worst.  Now the cramping has started, cravings are changing and I never had a normal pregnancy to know what a normal pregnancy is like.  

I know that God can provide when the room is empty and out of our nothing He can make great things.  I trust that He has not forgotten me, my prayers or my tears.  I feel His presence, beside me when I'm at this point of breaking.  But I'm still scared.  I am praying that our visit shows us clearly if things are going well or not.  Until then it's a long four days of waiting.

Psalm 23

A Psalm of David.

 ¹ The LORD is my shepherd;
         I shall not want.
 ² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
         He leads me beside the still waters.
 ³ He restores my soul;
         He leads me in the paths of righteousness 
         For His name’s sake. 
         
 ⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
         I will fear no evil; 
         For You are with me; 
         Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 
         
 ⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
         You anoint my head with oil; 
         My cup runs over.
 ⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
         All the days of my life; 
         And I will dwell in the house of the LORD 
         Forever.