Fearful

Today is a rough day.  I just feel off.  I hate this. I want to be positive.  But, I'm just not feeling it.  I'm just petrified that on Tuesday we will again begin the cycle from last time.  I'm just not prepared for that.  In my heart I know that God has control and that He will complete His work that He has begun.  I just wish I knew what He was working on.  I'm just scared today.  As much as I've tried to not get ahead of myself, I've not braced for the worst.  Now the cramping has started, cravings are changing and I never had a normal pregnancy to know what a normal pregnancy is like.  

I know that God can provide when the room is empty and out of our nothing He can make great things.  I trust that He has not forgotten me, my prayers or my tears.  I feel His presence, beside me when I'm at this point of breaking.  But I'm still scared.  I am praying that our visit shows us clearly if things are going well or not.  Until then it's a long four days of waiting.

Psalm 23

A Psalm of David.

 ¹ The LORD is my shepherd;
         I shall not want.
 ² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
         He leads me beside the still waters.
 ³ He restores my soul;
         He leads me in the paths of righteousness 
         For His name’s sake. 
         
 ⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
         I will fear no evil; 
         For You are with me; 
         Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 
         
 ⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
         You anoint my head with oil; 
         My cup runs over.
 ⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
         All the days of my life; 
         And I will dwell in the house of the LORD 
         Forever.